Reccomendations
everything I recommend has come to my enjoyment through one of three general processes:
Stumbling blindly in exploration
Listening to a friend discuss their favorites
A voice of reason or expertise
The first is like heat lightning, and is dependent on external factors more so than one’s own abilities.Right place right time, serendipity, coincidence, the good things that only come by chance. Still, one’s chances of experiencing this are increased by going outside and paying attention.
The world has a lot to offer, it will seldom be as slippery and wet as the fantasy provides- it will grate against expectations, it will have pores. Walk forward with open palms, see what comes to land.
The second requires trust and vulnerability. A willingness from both parties to bear the more sensitive aspects of passion and reveal one’s true interest. I’ve never understood why it hurts a little bit to show someone you love something you care about and not have them experience that same love. Maybe I’m just sensitive.
The third is easily accessed through an iPhone or local library : experts exist in heaps and bunches but must be regarded with a critical eye. Everyone is prone to faults and biases— which is not to discredit any experience/knowledge they do have but rather to take note of the fact that it may be incomplete, incompatible, or inaccurate.
I like the selections of information that library’s have as they have likely already been vetted- (although I must say the library in my hometown has a disappointing poetry section and I’ve resorted to collecting library cards to circumnavigate this problem. ) Online information tends to require a bit more sorting and vetting to determine its quality, but it’s worth the extra effort to enjoy something truly good.
And then there’s matter of taste- the taste of a meal if likely to improve upon the improvement of the ingredients quality, but every now and again I prefer boxed Mac and cheese over my homemade recipe. Both serve purposes, even if one is technically better. What purpose does your enjoyment of an art/song/painting serve? To numb or to elevate? Do you enjoy to enjoy or enjoy to solve a puzzle? Ask a few questions, don’t hang yourself to dry on the answers. Keep going.
Textures+Smells+ Colours
I love the smell and feeling of a sheepskin rug. The lingering animalistic musk speaks to an older part of my brain, a satisfied hunter. I’d like to have a room where the floor is fully carpeted by an array of woolen colours and shaggy textures. I’d roll around on them like a dog.
My affair with Blue is ongoing.My wedding colour is Blue, which to me is the colour of forever and the colour of dissolving. But also, Blue is???? I do my best to refrain from naming it and resort to taste. Salty, arid and humid at the same time. Something that sticks to my skin and pulls away at it as an invisible velvet.
Other smells lately : heat off the asphalt, lavender, salt, sunscreen, sweat, men’s cologne. Just go around and smell things. I smelt an ancient wall yesterday and it had a distinct water smell to it, the stone itself smelling sleepy and mineral like.
Other textures: linen, silk. How smooth air feels leaving the air conditioner.
Podcasts-
Nymphet Alumni and Crime Pays but Botany Doesn’t . I have little knowledge of botany and slightly more knowledge regarding fashion but that’s not why I listen. The people who Host these podcasts Care. They Try. The have real passion for their feilds,in both expansion and exploration they brush upon unknown edges with grinning faces.. All things I highly respect, no aspect of what they do feels dead, despite the fact that they discuss very different topics. Crime Pays got me into guerrilla gardening. Fun hobby.
Movies;
As of recent I’ve enjoyed….
Bell Book and Candle: I think I’d enjoy watching this one much more at Christmas time, drinking some sort of hot and smoky beverage while wearing silk pyjamas and woolen socks. Everything is an occasion ( even if I fail to rise to it)
Phenomena (not because it was a good movie lol ) I watched this with a group of freinds and spent more time laughing than expected. We drank beer and ate cherries.
Gilda: The ending wasn’t particularly fantastic but instead left me feeling bad for two people in trapped in the back and forth of a tense and tiresome relationship only rekindled upon the heels of violence and tragedy.becuaee even though the movie ended and our leading man and lady kiss I can’t help but feel that after the credits roll they go on to some other set of miseries. Perhaps it made me think of people in my own life- I don’t like to compare my life to movies or myself to characters. It’s like wearing a belt drawn two holes too tight. But I liked watching it, despite the lingering discomfort with its ending.
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All time favourite movies
Children of the Sea:
Beautifully animated. Anything I say will dirty it. Go watch.
Angels Egg:
Again. Go watch. ( it’s out for re release so it make take some skill to find )
Valerie and Her Week of Wonders: this movie came to me at a time where I was nearly completely alone. Despite its heavy darkness and sometimes heavy handed imagery it brought me comfort. I try not to befriend nonliving things but here we are, well acquainted.
Books:
I’m a very big fan of children’s books, especially older ones. They spark the imagination in a simplistic sort of way, a metaphorical lighter fluid. Also, photo albums. My mother has these collections of photographs taken by my Oma and opa, Polaroids from the 60s and 70s. The air looks cleaner then and when I look at the photos I fear the world has shrunk.
I heavily enjoy the work of Lispector, my copy of Agua Viva is becoming more my annotation than original text.
I enjoy E.e Cummings, the words scratch my brain in hard to reach places.
I enjoy Walt witman- particularly his piece Eidolons. It’s the kind of poetry that lifts you up on a warm draft and carries you for a good while.
I've recently finished Anne Carson’s Autobiography Of Red, although I felt as if I were a secret pervert reading it and found myself blushing. But it’s much more than any sort of perverse feeling. It’s more of a volcano running just under the skin asking to erupt out of an opened pore. I am a big fan of Carson’s work- even if I’m not smart enough to understand it in its entirety. Maybe one day I will- or perhaps it’s not something to be understood fully but rather experienced.
Other Recent Books: Bluets, Leaves of Grass, The Collected Works Of Emily Dickinson
As for self help, I must be frank;
I prefer fiction, prose and poetry over self help. I prefer a good stern talking to from my 68 year old neighbor over a self help book.
Hell, I prefer the advice of three year olds over some sort of online self help coursebook for 444$, that will “realign my spirit”.
I read a lot of them as a teen, hoping to find some cure for life— but as life is not a thing to be cured I always left with empty half answers. I Took a stern talking to from neighbors, doctors, and friends more wise than myself to realize that my issue was more of a preoccupation with my lack of imagination, as I was fixated on the familiarity of failure and destruction. It took living to make living right, sweating it out and losing face.
My self help book recommendation:
None, I can’t recommend you anything with my heart fully there. All I can truly say is Talk to someone older than you. Find something good for the spirit and do it everyday, my drug of choice is prayer, I trust you will find your own.
Music:
A lot of folk music. Anything that echoes against its own meaning. My playlists might suggest I’m sad all the time but it’s quite the opposite. I just like to poke bruises. I also find the loose structure a bit more interesting.
Any songs I’ve ever written have been solo folk pieces consisting of 3-4 chords for the guitar. I listen to learn for my own secret pleasures.
A few Artists I Like
Linda Perhacs: Dolphin, Hey Who Really Cares,The Sound of All Natural Things
Sibylle Baier: Forget, Tonight, I Lost Something In The Hills. The entire “ Colour Green” Album (it is my hope to own it on vinyl some day. I long to hear some crackling sound over her soulful voice)
Vashti Bunyan: Rose Hip November, Here Before , Same But Different
Jessica Pratt: Moon Dude, This Time Around
I like men but I sometimes find it hard to connect with their music emotionally. Like they are scratching every part of themselves except the spot that really itches.
The only man I think who could really scratch that itch was Sun Ra and His Arkestra ( saw them live. Danced. Made a fool of myself. ) but I think perhaps he’s poking at a cosmic wound or reaching deep into a pool lost to time, his work is special.
Useful things that fail Category
If you think you are being haunted, play some disco music and your fear will leave. It’s impossible to cry to disco music.
Matching sets of pjs can help any disorganized individual to seem more out together as they drag about their house completing all the chores in quarters and halves.
Naps in general. Large cats have it figured out, sleep lots, eat lots but manage to be quite productive in the time awake.
Fall madly in love. At least once if not twice.
Be particular. Like what you like, don’t play it up for others. If it’s not what you want right now, wait a little bit more.
Write letters. Write dried hay scattered sentences that scratch and leave cuts all over baby soft skin. Write bad, sick brain bad half wake bad uninspired and drained dead bad. It’s gotta get out.
Organization is half the battle. I am learning this battle.
Be well and go live,
<3 Nim.
yess just got agua viva